Mental and physical health challenges #givemehope #bipolarbears

 

I honestly try not to whine too much about where my life is, versus where it should be because ‘should be’ is an ideal world.  But regular readers of my blog will know that for the last year and a bit, I’ve been fighting what feels like a losing battle against my mental health support.
How it all worked out is around 13 months ago, I started vomiting back my Quetiapine (Seroquel), and when it was investigated and I had anti-sickness meds provided, but that my anti-psychotics had basically stopped working.  I started having real problems sleeping, my anxiety started to become something that defined my day again, and I couldn’t really deal with anything outside of the house.  My GP swung into action instantly, and referred me back to the team at our local outpatients where I’d spent six months the year we moved to our new home.

Instantly, I discovered that things were vastly different – the crisis team didn’t deal with me much at all, the unit I was referred to assigned a psych and a mental health nurse that to be blunt, were not kind or understanding in the slightest, and though the first psych had a clear plan for me, that month on lithium led to a lot of issues for me.  In fact, I went from September of that year, to most of the way through January before I’d been tested out, six ER admittances all for issues with managing food.  At first, we thought it was the lithium doing it, but of course, looking back on when my issues started, I realized that I was being sick when my meds stopped working.
After being tried and removed from Lithium, this time last year, we went on a week’s holiday to Wales, while my children headed off to Tunisia with my mother.  We came back expecting that things would get easier with my psychiatrist.  It didn’t.

I guess it really doesn’t help to point fingers from my public blog, but I’ve spent the last few days and weeks really considering how to make my psych team understand this isn’t right.
I’ve always been outspoken when I see things that don’t work for others, and I wanted to say something today about something that was actually probably quite stupid, looking back on things, but I’d decided, about two weeks ago, that I wanted to try to get to sleep, and to see if I could do it without having a doctor intercede on my behalf, in part so I could go back and say ‘I’ve had to take xyz, is there any chance you can help me with this, as I’m not sleeping without help’.  Instead, a week into trying this, and the weekend before I was due to go to my psych team appointment, my heart started racing.  I couldn’t slow it down.  Fifteen minutes of that and I realised I was in trouble, and woke my partner.  At first I was quite worried I’d accidentally doubled up on my meds because I’d been given new (repeats) ones that day.  But it turned out that the combination I’d been taking, on it’s own, caused it.
What was it that was extra, you might ask?

Nytol.
Nytol is diphenhydramine hydrochloride, they claim that it’s a very common antihistamine.  I’ve taken it before as an antihistamine along with cycalzine (another antihistamine, though it’s prescribed as an anti-sickness agent).  Add that to Quetiapine and you’re suddenly taking three types of medicines that cause long QT syndrome, a type of heart defect that causes the electrical function of your heart to somehow change.  There are three running theories on what it actually does – either it changes potassium or sodium channels in your heart, or it creates poor feedback causing your heart to race, or…well, I’m not sure I understand, but it was what the first ER doc started trying to explain before going off-shift.
What I did know was that it was terrifying.

It gets worse from here really.  I spent that weekend back in bed – I’ve only very recently bounced back from having cellulitis on one side of my face and ears, so I just basically regressed into the very sulky, constantly sleeping, incredibly depressed girl that I’ve managed to hold at bay unless things are bad with my sleep. Y’know when the last time my sleep was this bad?  When I freaking failed the A-Z challenge.  It’s gotten worse from there – the accident in July was quite bad, but I thought I was done for a while.  Nope.  Still limping, still struggling, still finding it difficult to sleep.  I’ll have to talk about sleep deprivation another time, this post is gonna be long enough.

It takes quite a bit to make me rant on this blog, but life is now at the point where my life is BASICALLY my bed, my kids, my partner, my cats, my living-room, my kitchen, my bed.  I only leave the house if someone is with me.  I only write if forced. I’m not working.  I’m not sleeping.  I’m not (really) eating, and I suspect the days I barely drink anything are why I get headaches.  I’m going to talk more about this on Bi-Polarbears, along with some really great other stuff that’s important to me.

I realized when I tried to pick up everything I’d dropped that the reality of what’s gone on in the last 24 months is causing real, and scary issues with my life.  When I went to speak to my GP the day I tried Nytol as a solution for the first time, we’d been talking about my pain management.  When I spoke to him after my Psych team screwed me over this time through, he told me that there’s a flag in my blood sugar, and now, I have to do more blood tests.  I’m sure those of you around last year remember that we’ve been here before, though last year it was my liver.  Especially galling is the fact that I’ve been on Seroquel for 14 months more than I probably should have been and, Seroquel causes, survey says….Blood sugar issues, and some studies suggest, early miscarriage. Welcome to my world.

I’m working with an amazing author right now – M.R. has written a book that I think we can create and edit into a better version so he and I are working together, though the poor guy just landed with me sick.  I’m not editing books unless I see someone in genuine need of help, and only as the first line now.  Someone has to come in behind me to proof, because I’m not and will never be a proofreader.  I can see mistakes when I read, I just don’t catch them while in documents, which is why I even have a spell check here.

I had hoped today to talk about my Nanowrimo projects, but that’s coming another day, soon.  I’m doing Nano, I’m just dealing with lots of stuff that isn’t easy to consider, let alone talk on.  But I’ve got some great friends, and made some new ones – HI NEW FRIENDS! – so it’s all good.  We’ll get there, and there’s some REALLY exciting things coming over November, alongside the Nanowrimo and beyond.  If this has taught me anything it’s that I need to communicate more and I need to be more present where I’m happy.  It’s going to be a hard year because things are changing, but I can’t see anything but positive coming from some of it (and if you know my good news, professionally, please don’t say anything here – I’m not allowed to announce it yet!).  I’m really trying to be positive, and I know this reads really quite upbeat but I’m so tired and constantly find even the simplest things difficult.

It’s the most wonderful time of the…hang on a minute…#Nanowrimo #Anxiety

Yeah, OK, sorry if that reminds you of X-mas, but for me, this is the most wonderful time of the year – or at least, it’s supposed to be.
For those of you that are new to the blog, I’m pagan (a white woman as it happens), and so Samhain starts an amazing month and a bit where I’m running Nanowrimo locally – battering around like a loon, talking to new writers and cheering, very loudly for everyone taking part whether or not they ‘win’.
This year though, there’s a bit of reluctance in me.  A bit of sadness too, actually.
This last year has not been a good year for my health, though for the first time since PrincessPink was very small, my mental health has sucked more than my physical – and trust me when I say that multiple miscarriages at the beginning of the year make that even more harrowing.
I can’t really talk about what’s going on, mostly because it turns me into a bundle of anger and tears, but this year is one of the first years for Nanowrimo where I’m so seriously overweight that most of my clothes don’t fit, that I spend most of my time in PJs, and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to run our meets.
I WILL run the meets, but something’s going to give somewhere.

I’ve got a lovely (I hope) post about the five books…no, six…maybe eight, I’m writing this year, but there’s a definitive focus on only four of them.  I’ll get over 50k as usual, but that’s never a problem for me.  My problem is leaving the house now.

So, my next couple of posts will be about Nanowrimo, and there will be a wordcount tracker in my sidebar, and it’ll update daily (I hope – the new script I wrote should do that, maybe, perhaps, possibly), but for now I just wanted to pop my head up and say that it’s coming.  Maybe today, but definitely before the weekend.
I’m also hoping to launch Gloswriters this weekend, along with some other stuff.

I’ll also be giving up some sites ‘free to a good home(host)’.  You can take them and pay me to host them or move them, the choice is yours.  More on that later though.

The 34 Seconds tour: Deltaville Steamed Blue Crabs

Welcome to the tour for Stella Samuel’s book, 34 Seconds.  To kick off the tour, I asked Stella to share with me a recipe with me that meant something to her for her or her book.

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Stella told me she was sharing recipes with me – Steamed Crabs and Hush Puppies.  I live in the UK, so I was understandably confused by Hush Puppies – they are a brand of shoes here…But we cleared that up and I’m delighted to share.

I’ll let Stella explain:

When I was growing up in Deltaville, my grandfather would spend the morning on his boat emptying his crab pots from the Rappahannock River. He’d bring them home, and my grandmother would steam them while my parents and aunts and uncles set up picnic tables. They would spread newspaper across the tables, set a roll of paper towels at each end, and toss a couple of knives in the center just in case we couldn’t get the crabs open. Once the crabs were done, someone would dump the crabs onto the tables, someone would melt real butter and add a little bowl full of melted butter to each place setting, and we’d dig in. We did this for years, and it was a huge family get together. As we all grew up, and went off to colleges or moved on to places to be adults, our families often tried to recreate these fun crab picking days, but they were never just as wonderful as they were when I was a child.

In 34 Seconds Nikki’s husband calls Hush Puppies, an old seafood favorite, little fried balls of dough. He wasn’t sure what they were, but he knew he loved their sweet, bready fried taste.

Stella has shared a recipe for Blue Crabs AND Hush Puppies, included below!

[ultimate-recipe id=”3398″ template=”default”] [ultimate-recipe id=”3400″ template=”default”]

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Stella Samuel is a debut author who reads multiple genres.  Her first book, 34 Seconds, talks about the moments where life changes suddenly, and the choices we make in those moments where the people that hold parts of ourselves from the past meet.  A literate and lyrical view at love, life and fate, this story is both uplifting and satisfying.

Stella is a debut author who loves nothing more than connecting with fans on social media.  Her blog bio is:

Stella Samuel – Writer, Butterfly and Singer of Silly Songs. Smiles under sunshine but dances in warm rain. Silently wishes to winter in Phoenix.

 

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Nikki and Will fell in love a lifetime ago in Deltaville, Virginia. Now living in Colorado with her family, Nikki is invited to attend Will’s wedding back in Virginia where she finds her past staring her in the face.
Will never wanted a wife, and he broke Nikki’s heart long ago. Nikki knew what she wanted: a strong, happy marriage and children, a future. She found those things when she married Chris, and she and Will managed to grow their friendship after heartbreak.

A year after the wedding, Nikki is faced with her painful past again. She soon discovers she must find the strength to help Will on his own personal journey. In thirty-four seconds, she sees him slip from her life forever. Watching Will cross over to his fate, her past collides with her present, and Nikki learns she’s never been in control of her own destiny. Her own journey back to her family in Colorado becomes one of self-discovery. With the help of Will’s voice to carry her across the country, Nikki must decide how she will move forward.

Buy 34 seconds here.

 

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You can follow Stella on various social media platforms and her blog.

Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Author Central | Pinterest
Add “34 Seconds” to your Goodreads to read list!
Help Stella make her Thuderclap goal!

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Join in on the other tour spots over on Indie Minions!

Would you like to review this book, or feature the author in a guest post?  Sign up here!10

Would you like to win a $25 (or equivalent value) gift card or a signed book from Stella Samuel?

Easy entry on Rafflecopter, below!

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Six word stories – the introductory edition #Mondayblogs

I’ve been having a lot of fun lately with short form stories.
Originally, the most poignant story I ever encountered was the one written, apparently by Hemingway (though that’s since been refuted as the source of the story) which goes as follows:
For Sale:Baby Shoes.  Never Worn.

So, for #Mondayblogs, I thought I’d start a six word stories, with different themes.
If you post one, you can fill in the comment form with a link of your choice, but please only sign your name on the post itself, to keep the stories as the main event.  You may post as many as you like of course, but the post should only contain between six and ten words (four of which are your name).  Posts not following this pattern will be removed.
We’ll share some of the best with links to the authors who provided them next week, along with a new theme.

No theme this week – it’s whatever you’d like.

I’ve so far written two:

  1. Worlds change babe. Fool no more. (actually part of a poem I wrote years ago).
  2. Holding my breath, no way out.

Let’s see yours, and with thanks to multiple friends for providing suggestions and talking about six word stories this week.

Why #Kaiatus turned into silence

Hi guys and gals.  Bear with me a sec, while I explain something.

Sometimes it takes - Hayley WilliamsAt the end of June, myself and my business partner (Shaun Allan, he of Sin, and Darker Places, among other things) set up an app company.  Then, a couple of days into the new company stuff, I fell down the stairs in our house.

I don’t exactly know what happened.  I was unconscious when David found me, but my son found me first.  All I remember before that was reaching down to make sure my little grey and white cat, Haley, hadn’t brought in a bird.  On the steps.  Ooops.

So, that necessitated an ambulance outside of my house, on the grass the kids normally play on, lots of whimpering and crying, and the growing realization that I couldn’t feel my left leg, at all.  Six days in hospital, and I was sent home by the pain team with some really unusual meds, lots of painkillers and instructions about not overdoing it.  So, since the beginning of July, ‘not overdoing it’ has also involved ‘not blogging’, ‘not writing’ and ‘not being myself at all’.  A lot of my coping mechanisms mentioned previously on this blog are still extant.  I still veg more often than not, though I’m trying to teach myself to read as much as I physically can, as often as I can now – I’ll share my reading lists (including those I’m following along on Wattpad) on Sunday, I think, but till then I wanted to pop my head up and apologize for going silent so suddenly.

I do have some good news though – I’ve been working on that old book of mine – the forensic writing one.  I think I’ve got a neat name for it – I think I’m going to call it ‘ The secret language of Fiction’.  I’m still thinking – it’s not a perfect fit, but it’s now officially on ‘the list’.

But I’m still on a go slow – it wasn’t something I really meant to do, but between my psych meds still not working and my injury, travelling (we went to Edinburgh, then London, more on that later too!), I’ve just found it too hard to sit down and work out where my new workflow is leading me.

Blueshifted Apps launches soon however, and I’m really excited about that, along with the things I’ll be announcing to my mailing list.  I might be rubbish at being extroverted when injured, but I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am and what I write, and I’ve got so many neat things I want to deal with between now and the end of the year, and that’s just awesome.  I’m hoping that Blueshifted gets me most of the way there, income wise, and the books will fill up the rest.

How have you guys been?  Anything exciting going on?

Author Interrupted reviews Logos, by John Neeleman

Today on the blog, I am delighted to welcome Novel Publicity’s Tour for Logos.  John Neeleman’s book is absolutely worth it, so let me introduce you to the book, and the tour.
9781938846267-frontcover

Review of Logos

Read to the end of the blog for ways to win and more about the book.  First though….

I’m a pretty eclectic reader.  I mean, one day I’ll be in the middle of a zombie book, the next, I’m devouring literary fiction.

I DEVOURED Logos.  It was such a good book.
First – I don’t view this as a Christian book – it’s a theological book, in some ways, but in others, even though it’s fiction, there’s still a definitively strong storyline that isn’t overpowered by the themes.
I’ve enjoyed the time I spent with the book, to be honest – I really enjoy other people’s takes on mythos of all kinds and this was an ambitious, sweeping novel that took me along for a great ride.  It has a good perspective on many things, and is a very brave book – it’s not often people tackle the birth of a religion in quite this way and it felt both intimate and broad sweeping all at the same time.

I really adored Joseph.  He really felt like the character I connected with, and his story naturally answered the questions I began asking myself as I read.  I felt his struggle and his rebellion, even though he is touched by some of serious importance in the religion that he finally becomes immersed in.
The book posited that he created the gospel, and so, we follow this man as he experiences life as it changes around him, at the birth of Christianity, and his feelings and fears as we go.  He suffers great losses, and learns a great deal, and it felt very…not satisfying, but maybe gratifying to feel that he had some sort of closure at the end of it all.
I did feel that maybe it shouldn’t have been labelled as the creation of the gospel, until I finished the book – the overall feeling from the book was that Jacob, who is an average man with the same traits as most people, and certainly not a super human/ larger than life character, but still navigates the world of both status quo and change, and possibly falls into the position of narrating these things.  Because of that, I felt he was a strong character.

There was very little I didn’t like – I did occasionally feel the weight of all the research he must have done and though I did really enjoy it, there were patches of the of the book I found slightly tougher going at points. I did also feel quite weary for Joseph by the end of it all – he lost everything and I don’t think he fully found either redemption or acceptance of any of it, but he was a changed character by the end.  It was a satisfying arc too, if sometimes a bit harrowing.
Good books challenge us to look inside of ourselves – and that’s what this one did.  I reconsidered a few things I thought about religious texts in general and felt quite comforted at points, and challenged at others – it’s that deft change in some of the way we engage with the piece that marks John as a writer to watch. It’s an amazing debut novel and extremely worthy of it’s strong four stars.

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About the Book – About the Author – Prizes!!!

About the prizes: Who doesn’t love prizes? You could win one of two $50 Amazon gift cards or an autographed copy of LOGOS! Here’s what you need to do…

  1. Enter the Rafflecopter contest
  2. Leave a comment on my blog

That’s it! One random commenter during this tour will win the first gift card. Visit more blogs for more chances to win–the full list of participating bloggers can be found HERE. The other two prizes will be given out via Rafflecopter. You can find the contest entry form linked below or on the official LOGOS tour page via Novel Publicity. Good luck!

About the book: While novels and cinema have repeatedly sought after the historical Jesus, until now none have explored what may be a more tantalizing mystery—the Christian story’s anonymous creator. Logos is a literary bildungsroman about the man who will become the anonymous author of the original Gospel, set amid the kaleidoscopic mingling of ancient cultures. Logos is a gripping tale of adventure, a moving love story, and a novel of ideas. None of this should be regarded as out of place or incompatible in a novel about Christianity’s origin. Dissent, anarchism, and revolution—and incipient Christianity was no less these things than the Bolshevik, the French or the American revolutions—inevitably have involved ideas, adventure, and romance.
In A.D. 66, Jacob is an educated and privileged Greco-Roman Jew, a Temple priest in Jerusalem, and a leader of Israel’s rebellion against Rome. When Roman soldiers murder his parents and his beloved sister disappears in a pogrom led by the Roman procurator, personal tragedy impels Jacob to seek blood and vengeance. The rebellion he helps to foment leads to more tragedy, personal and ultimately cosmic: his wife and son perish in the Romans’ siege of Jerusalem, and the Roman army destroys Jerusalem and the Temple, and finally extinguishes Israel at Masada. Jacob is expelled from his homeland, and he wanders by land and sea, bereft of all, until he arrives in Rome. He is still rebellious, and in Rome he joins other dissidents, but now plotting ironic vengeance, not by arms, but by the power of an idea.
Paul of Tarsus, Josephus, the keepers of the Dead Sea Scrolls, and even Yeshua, the historical Jesus himself, play a role in Jacob’s tumultuous and mysterious fortunes. But it is the women who have loved him who help him to appreciate violence’s dire cycle.Get LOGOS through Amazon, or Barnes & Noble.

About the author: John Neeleman spends his days working as a trial lawyer in tall buildings in downtown Seattle. He lives in Seattle with his wife and children. He also represents death row inmates pro bono in Louisiana and Texas. As a novelist, his editorial model is historical fiction in a largely realistic mode, though there are hallucinatory passages that reflect Neeleman’s concern with philosophical and spiritual matters, in part a residue of his religious upbringing. He was raised as a seventh generation Mormon, and rebelled, but never outgrew his interest in metaphysical concerns.
Connect with John on his publisher’s website, Facebook, Twitter,or GoodReads..

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#Kaiatus part the 2nd – Continuing into June…

Yeah, yeah, I know.  I’ve been talking about being pretty beaten lately – and I didn’t do what I expected to do this May and take time off – I managed three whole days, where I felt seriously guilty and annoyed that I was maybe missing stuff that I needed to help out with.

In short, I’m no good at taking a step back when I need to.

The positives though – since putting out Glass Block just under a month ago, I’ve managed to finish five non-fiction books, which are queued out as far as Amazon will let me.  The first one comes out the end of this month and is called ‘21 healthy habits‘.  It’s a set of daily, weekly and writerly things that you can do to find time to write and hopefully, a bit of encouragement that you’re not alone.

But there’s also all of these coming in the coming months!

I’ll be offering the chance to have people review these closer to the end of the period that the final ones are coming out – plus we’ll be bundling these up into a $10 boxed set, if you want to wait!
Fiction wise, things are a lot slower. I’ve got a new story on the go, that’s a serial in 30 parts (alphabet, plus a couple more!) but I’m still enjoying getting to know the characters, so I’m not so worried.  Because it’s in 30 parts, I’m being sensible and they’ll be novelletes/novellas.  Well, maybe.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still quite down right now – I’m very tired and still quite unwell, when it comes down to it, but I’m up to some fun stuff, so that kinda helps.

Most of the fun stuff  I’m getting into is apps – but that’s for another post 🙂

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My May Quotables gallery

I love making quotables on my phone – I use a couple of apps and post them at night while getting ready for bed and winding down.  If I’ve made a lot, I queue them up to post later in the evening.  I love the quotes I’ve found, so there are a couple that are different images, same quotes.

Enjoy!

Chin up, head down

I’m trying to get into the habit of exercising regularly, eating well and writing.  The last few months, I’ve spent my days feeling quite sorry for myself.  It’s true, I got Glass Block out, but I feel like I’m not managing everything that I want to do.

I’ve talked to the other half about it, and he says that it’s our choice to change the things that we’re unhappy about, and he’s right.
I’ve been saying for a very long time that things need to change – and we do get things changed, a little.  And then,  either I backslide a bit, or something else happens that causes more issues. Lately it seems like I plug one hole, and two more suddenly spring up.

Some of it seems like it’s willpower, and when I think about it, it’s something I’ve always had problems with as a child.  But again, talking to my partner, I realized that my biggest issue isn’t willpower.  I have a huge amount of willpower, but it, and most of my ‘courage’ is being spent on functioning like an adult.

When it takes courage to get up and come downstairs from your bedroom, when it’s easier to roll over and go back to sleep till the boys come home…It’s kinda understandable that I’ve got a few issues.  I don’t sleep properly either – that time I feel like I’m wasting is because I don’t write in bed (I probably should).  And that’s just compounded by the fact that I struggle to get up in the morning.  So I go back to sleep.
It’s not that I don’t want the life I’ve always dreamed of – some of it is because I feel like I don’t deserve it, but a lot more of it is… it’s spending currency that I only get a finite amount of.  I don’t have the ‘extra’ right now to spend on exercise, or blogging, or even writing.  My ‘easy option’ is gaming, on the computer.  When I have no more energy, I game, and I sit on Facebook.  And that’s sorta good for me – I get to talk to friends.  But…

One of the things I’ve noticed is I’m not nearly as ‘sharp’ as I used to be.  Some of it is definitely my meds – cyclazine, which is an antisickness med, makes me feel very sleepy and dopey.  Couple that with very strong pain meds, and I’m pretty sure that this feeling of being behind a great big pane of glass has something to do with them.  At the other end of this, my other meds aren’t working, so I’m constantly anxious and on guard.  That’s where the burning of my willpower comes from.  It’s been this way since August, and made worse when I was put on lithium, but took until the beginning of the year to resolve properly.  And I’m now back in that spiral of sore stomach/not eating much/sleeping very poorly, to the point that my partner’s spent most of this week encouraging me just to sleep and stay in bed.  It’s been hard work this week to leave my bedroom – to open my laptop and write.  So I haven’t.

It’s a spiral that, if I fall into it completely, I’ll never come back from.   I know, deep in my heart, that I need to work on this.  I’m not sure *how*, other than one step at a time.

Depression isn’t an easy thing to deal with at the best of times, but when you’re already on medication for other issues, I think it’s even harder.  How do you know that what you’re going through isn’t to do with your meds already?  How do you know, if you’ve slowly become isolated, that this is worse?
I don’t have those answers, but what I need to do now is find my way back to loving my writing, and taking care of myself.  Even if it means going for a walk first thing in the morning to shake the foggy feeling I get from my meds.  I used to run several times a week, and I miss that, but that’s two steps beyond where I am right now.  I’m not so far back that I’ll never make it, but I’ve got work to do.  I suspect I’m not going to find it easy, but perhaps that’s part of the point.

I don’t agree that nothing worthwhile is easy – for me, writing is incredibly easy, like breathing – but the ability to do as I’ve planned, and find my health and wellness is difficult.  I know exactly where my center is, and it’s waaay north of where it should be.  Depression has put me in a hole, and first, I need to climb up and out of where I am.  I’ve got just enough willpower to do that, and I’ll find the courage as I pull myself up, but I suspect that it’s going to take a little more than just saying I’m going to do it.

But I have to try.  One way or another, I need to backfill the hole I landed in, and deal with the issues with my health. I have an amazing partner, who’s willing to help me, and the best of friends, but I’m the one that needs to sort myself out and take those first steps.  Chin up, head down.

I won’t let this beat me.

It’s OUT!

Or at least it will be at midnight 30th April!
glass blockI know a lot of you thought it would never happen, and in fact, I’m pretty sure at points I did too, but it’s finally here!

Glass Block!  WOOOHOOO!

Darkness is in trouble – crime is outstripping the ability to police it, and while some policemen are embracing the issues, but many are falling under the sway of corruption. Each technological jump creates more issues while the regulations fall further and further behind.
Elliot Peters has been sent to a jail to consult on what the press are dubbing ‘Big Brother with Blood’ – an event where some of the worst criminals in Darkness are allowed to kill one another for the viewing public’s pleasure. With prison overcrowding, and the City running out of funding, the new Mayor turned to UCPS (United Coalition Prison Services) to provide income the policing of the city, and they teamed up with a TV channel…
The rest is going to be history.

You can grab it from Amazon right now, though we’ll be expanding onto other platforms if there’s demand.