I’m not aware of too many things, I know what I know, if you know what I mean
What I Am (Radio Edit; Feat. Emma Bunton)
One of the major things I’ve been threatening for the last few weeks (months…year) is rebooting my brand. Right now, my brand is mostly tech support, and possibly a bit of writing – people know that they can ask a question, and if it’s technical, I’ll probably answer. It’s been difficult lately, because changing gears tends to be, but one of the things I’ve noticed is that I’m unhappy unless I’m writing. Which really isn’t helping with the job search. I’ve got a lot to get on with and a metric tonne to look at.
I am what I am
The core thing in all of this is that I’ve stopped being me. I keep saying to David (that’s my other half) that I feel like I’m a shadow of the person he fell for. And of course, some of that’s true in a good way. I have a degree now (Have done since 2011) and I’ve learned a lot of the stuff that made me…well…me wasn’t really great. But I’m still not the person I used to be. And I miss the writing bit of what I was. I really REALLY miss writing, but I open up the file for writing, the blank page really freaks me out. A dozen stories vie to be the words marking that page, and it’s paralysing. I’m sure it’s temporary, because of course, I’m writing. I’m doing blog posts, and my 750words every day, but for now, writing content is simply blogs and streams of conciousness on my 750words account.
Which leads me to this – I am a storywriter. It’s ok to BE a storywriter. But I’m not interested in selling books. I probably should be – but instead I’m more interested in helping people get to where they need to be with their public relations. Which
What I am
I’m a writer. I’m still a shadow of the person I used to be, and I’m trying to bring the positives back while leaving the negatives behind. It’s a bit like a Tetris puzzle, just I look at bits that I can discard and blow up and the other bits that slot in. Writing is a major part of that, but I don’t know if it’s the biggest part any more. I’m not sure where it comes in the equation of what makes me, me.
But I know that it’s important that I keep it, even if it’s journalling.
I know this isn’t the brand reboot everyone wants. I know everyone wants Glass Block and the other books and you will get them, but I need to change gears a little bit and find what makes me, me. It’s difficult to explain why it’s important to me to redefine my brand, other than it didn’t contain writer in the first place. Not really.
Not with my own books at least. And I want to change that, but first I need to change the underlying brand. And I know you’ll bear with me, because you’re all there with me. And I’ll make it up to you for waiting. And I know I keep saying that too, but I will.